![]() I actually had some rube who kept bitching at me to make the next one “stronger”, it’s kinda hard to make something made entirely out of hard liquor any stronger, so I left out the ice. People drinking Long Islands never follow bar etiquette, never tip, and are always a pain all the way up the ass. The last couple of bars I’ve worked at won’t do them because they’re nothing but a huge fucking rigmarole capped with an argument, and the only reason I put them on this list is that I wanted to vent. 20% alcohol by volume), but It’ll cost you the same to just do 3 full shots and not mix everything together like a mental patient, or just order 3 drinks and take awhile before you get pants-shitting wasted. ![]() Ordering one of these at a bar is a huge red flag, The only reason anyone ever orders a Long Island Iced Tea is because they want the cocktail with the most alcohol (approx. Whenever someone says, “Long Island Iced Tea” all I hear is “I’m a garbage human and I wish to argue with you about the price of booze”. These are all geared for speed and simplicity and can be made with the basic rail liquors (with a couple of exemptions). ![]() There’s a place for those drinks, and it ain’t in a dive bar. Pina Colada) or that have uncommon ingredients (Mojito). I have omitted certain cocktails that require special equipment (i.e. I mostly work at “beer and a shot” bars, and I can go for a full shift without anyone ordering anything more complicated than a vodka soda with lime, but these are the six cocktails that I get the most orders for, and one more that I just want to bitch about. So, you’ve made enough mistakes in life that you’re now tending bar? Congratulations, this is the guide for you! This guide is meant to cover the most basic drinks for bartenders that any half-way stocked bar should be able to make. After everything, not a whole lot has changed except everybody is pissed off at everyone and everything always we learned that when your work said “we’re a family” they meant it in an internet porn context wherein a bunch of people get constantly fucked, but pretend to like it in order to pay rent and my booze rack at home has been thoroughly decimated (as in evidence by whatever-the-fuck whiskey that is in the pics below).Īnyhow, here’s something we found stuck under our digital couch. On this side of the lock-down, I’m back bartending again. Feel free to plug in whatever title best comports to your life truth right now. I guess now we could do this as a “7 Basic Drinks for Bartenders You Can Make Locked-Down in your Plague Bubble While Waiting for the Earth to Implode” or something equally pithy to better reflect the zeitgeist. We wrote up this guide in the before-times, and kinda forgot about it in all the excitement of getting to role-play a dystopian plague concept IRL.
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